Under a Rock

for the winter

Portraits

So I decided to take a drawing class this past quarter with Snakeskin McGee. Yesterday was my last class. I was dubious of the outcome because at first I didn't seem to be doing well. It now seems as if I may have a talent for drawing portraits. My professor told me "you could make a living doing this". :)

Religion is God's joke on humanity

We are drowning in a sea of hypocrites.

I hate Tuesdays

Inadequate.
Emotional.
Puke in this space.
Stabbed in the face.
Gave up on the chase.
No rest for the wicked.

Chivalry is Dead

Our society has destroyed any sort of chivalry men may have had at one point in history. I am all for equality but whatever happened to plain old courtesy. People just don't think anymore.

Being climactic in anti-climactic climes
makes us
victims of victimless crimes.

Oh Ye of Little Faith

Glistening flesh.
Succulent taste.
Slightly spongy,
crunchy, sweet,
yet tart.
Biodegradable; it won't last forever.
In evidence as it browns before my eyes.

The hardest thing about living is preventing yourself from doing the things that make you happy.

How do you see the future when the future does not exist?

Glass Castle

I do not throw stones so why can I not live in a glass castle.

People grow apart as people grow into themselves. Some grow in negative ways, some in the positive, and some do not grow at all. I cannot remain stagnant nor will I head towards the negative. That is why I must leave you behind.

Wondrous Boat Ride

There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going
There's no knowing where we're rowing
Or which way the river's flowing
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing
So the danger must be growing
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'Cause the rowers keep on rowing
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing!

I guess I shouldn't joke or laugh anymore.

Slave

Bonds are made to be broken right.
Things are not as they seem.
People do not do as they say.
People are not who they say they are.
Things change, people die and life goes on. I would hate to miss it.
There are so many pressures in life if you let them. Why can’t we be who we are. Impatience is the answer to that one.
It is easier to separate yourself from strangers and acquaintances than family and friends.
Is it strange to go down with the ship.
Why hold tightly to the past. Sure it has helped make you who you are but it also will stifle growth. Comparison is a cancer.
Why am I so easily satisfied and others not.
Why do people make their lives more difficult than living already is.
Why is everything I do considered incorrect.
Why is it not enough. I have always been pushed to be brilliant. I have neglected to live.
I feel as if I am being pushed around by bullies. Life is a pendulum.
I find happiness and joy in so many things, big or small. Does that lessen the strength of my happiness when compared to others. Does it make my happiness less valuable.
When things go wrong why do people exacerbate the problem.
Death is in everything and so is change. Both lack reference.
Only I can force things to be about me.
It’s dog eat dog, every man for himself. The roller coaster never ends, it just enters another loop.
Will we be alive to see it.
Will I ever win.
Knowledge is an escape from feeling the universe. To reside in your head imposing your opinions on the world.
Within frozen ice dwell many shades of blue.
Culture is a cage in which I refuse to be a slave to its intolerance, bigotry and sadness.
I refuse to be a symbol, to conform to that radical norm to terrorize and patronize those who are different from me.
My accepting nature pulls me apart and makes me alien.
There are degrees of ruthlessness. Just because I am not at the top of that tower does not make me weak. It makes me compassionate not altruistic.
Why do we feel as if we must be better than others.
I do not need a reward or recognition for the things I do.
Can a man live without God.

Drills

the heart is a harsh taskmaster
yet it is the mind that beats us all

How do we build something that will keep us in the here and now?

Blessed

I am truly a blessed individual. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Starlight, starbright.....

:)

Two for the Road

Consolidate: to discard the unused or unwanted items of and organize the remaining.

and here we go again

When

When you are near
my soul is replete.

When you are far
my heart ceases to beat.

I never really thought I would have a problem with it but then again I had never been in a relationship before, I always thought it was silly how others reacted to that situation. I guess I am more human than I have previously believed.

Residence

I had a dream last night that my mother was still alive. I knew where she was but I didn't know how to get to her place of residence. All this time she had been still alive but had not wanted to be near us. In the dream I was angry because of this.

I woke up today feeling so very tired, in pain and worn out. It took a lot to get me moving.

Pain

Going to the doctor tomorrow. Hopefully they can fix me.