Where are you?

Birthdays
Holidays
Dinner Parties
Social Gatherings
Celebrations

I was told that I should tell people how I feel

Why am I always so Fucking angry.
I can't tell you how I feel. It would only piss you off.

I wish I had a twin.

I want to meet people.
I want to learn.
I want to experience life through someone else’s perspective.
I want to go to space.
I want to love.
I want to be loved.
I want security.
I want to be excited all the time.
I want to be accepted the way I am.
I want to travel.
I want to drive across the country.
I want to be appreciated.
I want to not be afraid.
I want to be needed.
I want to have a family.
I want to be in great health.
I want to be nomadic.
I want to understand others motivations.
I want to listen.
I want reassurance.
I want to be heard.
I want to understand why I cannot understand.
I want control.
I want my chest to stop hurting.
I want a peach tree and a loquat tree.
I want a white picket fence and a country cottage.
I want to be stronger.
I want to understand people better.
I want to write.
I want to sing and dance.
I want to perform.
I want my mother.
I want understanding.
I want to live on the ocean.
I want to maximize my potential.
I want drive.
I want knowledge.
I want to own nothing.
I want to know what I want.
I want history.
I want serenity.

Sophia

There is a little 5 year old girl named Sophia that comes into the store with her dad. She is cute and very intelligent. I do not tend to like many children but I do enjoy her.
This of course has nothing to do with the fact that I like the name Sophia/ Sophie and would like to name a daughter of mine that name. Alis and I are still fighting over it. Lol.
Anyways, I am writing this because I think I enjoy kids, some kids that is. Most children are obnoxious brats that aren't very friendly or fun but a few are genuinely sweet, interesting kids. I like those ones. It shows that there are good parents out there.
Both father and daughter are very relaxing people. I do not know why they make me feel relaxed but they do. Things to think about I guess. It is great when you can find people that don't put more stress on you.
Genuine.
I like that.


Oh and yes, this is the girl that told me that I was a faster runner than her because I was African. Hahaha.

Everyman, I will go with thee, and be thy guide
In thy most need to go by thy side.

Reboot

Emotionally exhausted and drained.

I feel like crying.

Feeling unappreciated. I hate being a nurturer. Still the fucking black sheep.
My stomach hurts and I feel like throwing up.
Walls are erected.

Why are old people so miserable?

I didn't have a good day yesterday. Met a woman who obviously wasn't having a good day and wanted to bring everyone else down. I have been going through my own issues lately and really didn't need the extra negativity. I don't like holding things in but there is no one to talk to. Oh well. Vacation starts tomorrow. Yippee.

I've just come to the conclusion that I suck at writing.