The happy mood I have been exuding has not been on account of my crush; it is on what he represents. He represents the change I have undergone; he represents my readiness to proceed. I had always thought I would forever be a broken, unfixable being that would never be able to allow or want to allow anyone inside. I never wanted to face the negative consequences. I didn't want to believe in people only to have my beliefs destroyed. I'm not afraid of that anymore. If I'm destined to end the way my mother did then so be it. I'll not shelter my feelings and heart anymore. I've had a heavy dose of epiphany and now I'm ready. I'm more confident in whom I am and what I can do. I am going to grab the bull by the horns so to speak and not let life pass me by.
Mr. Smiles, the symbol, has allowed me to realize this. The long buried emotion he has evoked is what I'm ecstatic about. It shows that I am mended; that I can be interested in someone real.
I wonder if there is something special about him that has educed this feeling or if I educed it for myself. I do know that I like his open and easy smile.
It's going to be a bumpier road but I'm ready for it. I just hope the world is ready for me.
Learn to love; it's the only true thing left in the world.
Happy New Year everyone.
Good luck.
Peace.
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