I'm planning on visiting my mother tomorrow. I honestly do not know why I feel the need but I do know that I have this strange urge to sit at her memorial site. It probably wouldn't be safe for me to go alone but I have never done so and believe it is necessary before this year is over.
There is a connection I am missing. There is something unresolved that needs be. I lost my mother at age 11 under unexpected circumstances. It's time I figured out how affected my developing mind was to seeing what I saw that morning. I lost her at an age when having a female presence is paramount. In a previous post I jokingly asked why I didn't have a boyfriend but I have always know that it is because of that incident.
I've had to figure life out on my own. I guess I can be rather slow sometimes. You can be educated with all the information in the world but without experience to back you up you can be just as lost. Everything does indeed take time.
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